"When you touched my thoughts "




Reverberated in euphoria ,
when you touched my thoughts.
Golden verses scribbled in my
heart’s deep chambers, again
evoking unbound thoughts .


Soaked in this prudent reverie,
as an indiscreet  naive sage .
Bowed to a window to the world
of obscured  reflexes of  love.
In concrete persuasion to this sense
of  cerebral fondness breeding steadily. 


Captivated your thoughts into
my verses, strengthening core
within a frail frame of yesterday.
your untamed, verses showered
into the infinite thoughts of unknown
realms of my enduring realities.

About Piusha

Futile writer,enjoys reading anything under sun.Still on a quest to find a new facet within me.
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3 Responses to "When you touched my thoughts "

  1. Tito Dutta says:

    That is a fantastic poem. Not a single word is forced or irrelevant. Everything is well-placed and matches with the rhythm.

    As usual I don't like formatting and letter-casing. anyway that is a minor issue.

    I have one question: in the first and the second stanza it is “my thoughts.” as in “when you touched my thoughts”, in the third stanza it suddenly changes to “your thoughts” as in “Captivated your thoughts”. Thoughts?

    The poem has a good end. But unfortunately the poem concentrates and celebrates “me” much more in the poem than “you” (the real object). “Me” is well narrated. You somehow remains unclear to reader.

    Good luck.

    Like

  2. Piusha Singh says:

    Hi Tito,
    Thnxxx for your honest review.Its an abstract poem and it will be little difficult to comprehend by the readers.I my talking about when this girl in my imagination is bonded psychologically by the man she loves and the changes she experiencing in her inner world.Thnxxx a million for your ongoing support , your words mean a lot to me.

    Like

  3. Your poem touches the high altitudes of poetry writings. My applause to your writings.
    I accept life as true now, further in life than believing in life after death. There is a lovable mission I have to overcome, before the heavens accepts my last poetic breath, This danger zone I have been placed in this world.
    The dream of speaking adjacent to a thousand individuals, where monochrome faces is judged as equal to poetic and romantic too.
    Regards & Love
    WILLIAMSJI MAVELI

    Like

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